fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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