I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
