it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
