I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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