just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
