when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
