OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
