thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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