i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
