I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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