I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
