I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
