I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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