no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
