Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
