one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
