Your dad touched me again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
