after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
two words...techno handjob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
