"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think your dad took our porno
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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