If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
