I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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