Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
