Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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