My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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