are you still at the devil's house?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
