marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
