maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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