Im at strip club and am horny
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
