I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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