Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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