so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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