I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
vagina is talking i cant
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
