I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
