How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
