so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
