Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
