Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
