You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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