Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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