Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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