The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
