There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
