guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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