I think im going to throw up on grandma
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
