Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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