sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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