whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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