ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
