can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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