Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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