Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
