i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
