so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize