I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
