someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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