Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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