question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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