Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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