His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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