If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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